A sister reached out to me last week, complaining about how her husband is very serious with his work and would not take chances with his job. She thinks he works too hard and would choose his work over his family anytime there was a conflict in his schedule. I thought about the whole thing for a long time, pondered on the issue and the possible solution. And came up with the following;
- INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES: These are two different people with two different backgrounds, two different zodiac signs, two different desires, two different needs and more, who have come together to become ONE. Being ONE is a task that is literally beyond us, only God makes us ONE in all things. One person is into family, the other person into his/her work. And I realized that our complaints especially of our partners, are because THEY ARE NOT LIKE US. We want them to be like us, think like us, act like us, love the things we love, follow our own codes of conduct. But what if they think exactly the same way about you- that you are not like them? No two persons are alike, it makes sense to understand that we have different roles to play in life and in our marriages, so we should respect the other person’s role and place, and not want to force them to do the things you like. Instead of complaining about the problem, state YOUR NEEDS.
- FULFILLMENT: For her, being with her family fulfills her and for him having a headway in his career fulfills him. It is what it is, we cannot and should not take that away from people. I say all the time that the LORD has not given us the manual to our spouses, but maybe He has- in our zodiac signs. How many times have we taken the time to read about the signs of our loved ones. I read about mine; TAURUS last week and I was blown away about how accurate the chart was. I read that of my husband- PISCES and it made me understand why he acts the way he acts. And so that has given me an idea of what his weaknesses and strengths are. I read about Virgo, Aries and Capricorn and realized that the Capricorns are the workaholics. It is in their DNA, it is their nature. When it is time for family they are with family and when it is time for work, they are at work and nothing can change that because they find fulfillment in their work. Yes they love their loved ones but they also love their work. You, as a spouse should get to KNOW your spouse and UNDERSTAND them first before complaining about what they are doing and what they are not doing.
- BALANCE WILL ALWAYS REMAIN KEY: In whatever and wherever we find fulfillment, it is important that we do not let other things suffer- our families should not suffer, our health should not suffer, our friends should not suffer, our careers should not suffer. Being able to balance our daily routines as much as possible gives us peace of mind. Because yes, you might love your work and your wife or husband might understand that, but you do not want to make your wife or husband feel unfulfilled by marrying you, because they can. Many divorces have happened because the partners did not feel that sense of fulfillment in the partner they walked down the aisle with. So no matter where you are and in all that you do, within all that you love, remember that BALANCE is key.
Live a life that gives you deep fulfillment but NEVER leave a chance to regret. Make choices that would leave you GRATEFUL not REGRETFUL. Be true, be real and be sincere always. May your week be blessed.
Assignment: Take the time this week to read all about your partner’s zodiac sign.
Thank you for reading. God bless you.
Last week my husband and I had a deep conversation about ”attitudes and die hard habits” people seem to hold on to forever. They make these habits ”who they are” and say things like ”that is the way I have been living my life and that is how I will continue to live”, even if it is at the detriment of their relationships. I thought about it and realized that-it is simply not fair for one person to keep giving problems and unhappiness to the other.
Marriage is a place of ”giving and receiving”. Both persons are constantly giving and receiving from each other whether they are conscious of it or not. It is disheartening for one person to keep giving love and receiving animosity, inconsideration, anger, less appreciation, attitudes and more just because you believe this is who you are and you cannot change for the other person.
What worked for you as a person with a single status is different from what will work for you as a couple. Couples have to sit back and figure out what will work for their relationships. Because the relationship is no longer about you or me, but about ‘us’. And until couples begin to understand that and ADJUST as needed, their marriages will NOT work. Do not give all the wrong things to your partner and expect love in return. It does not work that way. Give them what you want to receive. If you want peace give them peace. If you want respect give them respect, if you want attention give them attention. Do not take your partner for granted, do not push them away because of who you think you are.
Love is fair and NEVER selfish. If you have to think about what you want always and not think about what the other person is receiving then my friend, that is selfishness. Love does not forget Itself and would never forget others.
Your assignment for the week is to take a closer look at your relationship, who is giving more and receiving less? Are you giving your spouse what you want to be given in return? Are you a dream come true for your partner or a nightmare?
May your week be blessed. 🙂
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