Tag Archives: marriage

WORK versus FAMILY- what fulfills you?

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A sister reached out to me last week, complaining about how her husband is very serious with his work and would not take chances with his job. She thinks he works too hard and would choose his work over his family anytime there was a conflict in his schedule. I thought about the whole thing for a long time, pondered on the issue and the possible solution. And came up with the following;

  • INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES: These are two different people with two different backgrounds, two different zodiac signs, two different desires, two different needs and more, who have come together to become ONE. Being ONE is a task that is literally beyond us, only God makes us ONE in all things. One person is into family, the other person into his/her work. And I realized that our complaints especially of our partners, are because THEY ARE NOT LIKE US. We want them to be like us, think like us, act like us, love the things we love, follow our own codes of conduct. But what if they think exactly the same way about you- that you are not like them? No two persons are alike, it makes sense to understand that we have different roles to play in life and in our marriages, so we should respect the other person’s role and place, and not want to force them to do the things you like. Instead of complaining about the problem, state YOUR NEEDS.
  • FULFILLMENT: For her, being with her family fulfills her and for him having a headway in his career fulfills him. It is what it is, we cannot and should not take that away from people. I say all the time that the LORD has not given us the manual to our spouses, but maybe He has- in our zodiac signs. How many times have we taken the time to read about the signs of our loved ones. I read about mine; TAURUS last week and I was blown away about how accurate the chart was. I read that of my husband- PISCES and it made me understand why he acts the way he acts. And so that has given me an idea of what his weaknesses and strengths are. I read about Virgo, Aries and Capricorn and realized that the Capricorns are the workaholics. It is in their DNA, it is their nature. When it is time for family they are with family and when it is time for work, they are at work and nothing can change that because they find fulfillment in their work. Yes they love their loved ones but they also love their work. You, as a spouse should get to KNOW your spouse and UNDERSTAND them first before complaining about what they are doing and what they are not doing.
  • BALANCE WILL ALWAYS REMAIN KEY: In whatever and wherever we find fulfillment, it is important that we do not let other things suffer- our families should not suffer, our health should not suffer, our friends should not suffer, our careers should not suffer. Being able to balance our daily routines as much as possible gives us peace of mind. Because yes, you might love your work and your wife or husband might understand that, but you do not want to make your wife or husband feel unfulfilled by marrying you, because they can. Many divorces have happened because the partners did not feel that sense of fulfillment in  the partner they walked down the aisle with. So no matter where you are and in all that you do, within all that you love, remember that BALANCE is key.

Live a life that gives you deep fulfillment but NEVER leave a chance to regret. Make choices that would leave you GRATEFUL not REGRETFUL. Be true, be real and be sincere always. May your week be blessed.

Assignment: Take the time this week to read all about your partner’s zodiac sign.

 

Thank you for reading. God bless you.

Circle Your Marriage In Prayers

I have been blessed to read ‘The Circle Maker’ by Mark Batterson. This book teaches us how to circle our needs, desires, dreams and aspirations in prayers and also the power of manifestation that accompanies our ceaseless prayers.

The things I have learned in this book so far is, having confidence in the Lord- Whose thought is far away from our thoughts as the Heaven is far away from the earth, with the distance from Heaven to earth calculated as 15.5 billion light-years, which means that according to the book, ”your best thought on your best day falls 15.5 billion light-years short of how great and how good God really is. Even the most brilliant among us underestimate God by 15.5 billion light-years. God is able to do 15.5 billion light-years beyond what you can ask or imagine”. Isn’t that just powerfully remarkable?

So it behooves you and I to trust that Powerful God. Another thing this book has thought me is to have confidence in myself. Before I go to pray, I need to know that my prayers will be answered. We doubt not because we do not trust God but we doubt ourselves. And when you doubt yourself you unconsciously doubt the power that is at work in you. If the Power of The Most High God is at work in you, then my friends, you need to trust yourself and be confident in your heart desires. Because the will of the Most High God is usually manifested through your will, especially when the intention is right. The intention is right when you are not thinking about all you will get from what you desire but all that will benefit others and the world positively.

There is a need out there to learn to circle our marriages in prayers ceaselessly. Yes it helps when your partner is open to prayers and praying as a couple, but when they are not, is not the time for you to throw in the towel. Your prayer for your marriage and your home helps tremendously, especially when it is prayed from a pure heart and with cheerfulness. When it is, tremendous power that can cause transformational changes is provided to that marriage. You receive your heart desires because the Lord has prepared you without your knowledge and placed you in the vibrational frequency to receive. And so when you start to pray, work has begun in you and in your marriage. NEVER give up because you think that you are not getting the result you desire yet, but understand that the Holy Spirit brooded upon the face of the deep for a longtime before the earth was finally formed. The Holy Spirit could be brooding on you and your entire household PREPARING you for your miracle because of your prayers. Understand that your marriage will be healed, your finances will be healed, your relationship will blossom, your children will be successful and they will hold their peace, you will grow, you will expand, you will prosper by the Power Of the Holy Ghost because you CHOSE TO PRAY.

Please buy that book- The Circle Maker’, if you have not read it. You will find it on amazon.com. This upcoming new year, because of your spiritual understanding and change, will be a different year for you and your household positively. Wishing you all the best. Have a blessed week Friends.

Thank you for reading. Remember to share with friends and family. God bless you all. 

I Loved his reggae dance steps- #FridayLove (How I met my spouse)

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We have another love story to share with everyone from a couple I so much admire, love and respect. They are fashion icons, blessed with four beautiful children, and it just makes sense for us to read about how these love birds met. When  you meet your soulmate and you marry your soulmate, even if the journey is not as smooth as you would like it to be, there would be no other person on earth you would want to go on a ‘not so smooth ride’ with except them. So in all the twists and turns, and the loop-DE-loop, you choose that special someone always to be your partner in crime, success, strength, beauty and all.

“It all started about fourteen years ago, I was vacationing in Maryland to see my friends who I haven’t seen in months after the Nigerian reunion in Miami. The excitement built in me was quite different from the usual excitement I felt when going on a short vacation. It was a Saturday night and in the month of may when lots of people would be graduating. My friend busted into the room while I was sleeping and asked me with a mouth full of grin if I wanted to attend a graduation party. With a sigh of ambivalence, I agreed to attend after she told me the who of who’s in MD would be attending. On arriving to the party, I lost it and didn’t feel like I should be at the party any second longer. Just as I was about to tell my friend I would be taking my leave, I spotted a light skin built guy across the room looking my way. My friend came back to me and said we should leave, I told her I guess we should wait a second because this party might just be the best party I’ve ever attended. With every direction I turned my eye, I saw our eyes meeting. When we were about to leave the party, the gentleman approached me and introduced himself as Kunle, which surprised me because all along I had thought he was an Ibo guy. I chose to play the naija card and play hard to get by not giving him any attention. He asked me if it was OK to walk me to my car, which I reluctantly said it was ok. As God would have it, the next party we went to in DC, I came across this gentleman again at the party and he came over to me and bought my friends and I some drinks. He asked me to dance and showed me how to dance to reggae. His reggae dancing skills impressed me and we got talking and laughed the night away. We exchanged numbers and the first night we spoke on the phone lasted hours and I can remember us talking about different things that got us fascinated. He surprised me with a visit on my birthday few weeks later by telling me to step outside to pick up the package he had sent me and to my surprise he was the delivery guy with the package. He pleaded with me to cancel all prior engagements I had for my birthday and he took me to a water front restaurant in Manhattan, where we walked around the city and enjoyed each other’s company. The rest is history with four beautiful kids”.- Bunmi Ojo Adenugba

OMG!!! That is so cute!!! The delivery guy option was truly beautiful, any girl would fall for that…LOL. Thank you so much for sharing that beautiful story with us. This is to encourage the singles, especially those still looking unto God for a mate, yes, soulmates do exist and you will meet yours soon by God’s grace. Amen.

 

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Thanks for visiting our blog. You are truly appreciated. Feel free to leave us your comments. If you would like us to feature your love story, please send your story and your picture to beautifulmarriageforever@gmail.com

Are you a dream come true or a nightmare?

 

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Last week my husband and I had a deep conversation about ”attitudes and die hard habits” people seem to hold on to forever. They make these habits ”who they are” and say things like ”that is the way I have been living my life and that is how I will continue to live”, even if it is at the detriment of their relationships. I thought about it and realized that-it is simply not fair for one person to keep giving problems and unhappiness to the other.

Marriage is a place of ”giving and receiving”. Both persons are constantly giving and receiving from each other whether they are conscious of it or not. It is disheartening for one person to keep giving love and receiving animosity, inconsideration, anger, less appreciation, attitudes and more just because you believe this is who you are and you cannot change for the other person.

What worked for you as a person with a single status is different from what will work for you as a couple. Couples have to sit back and figure out what will work for their relationships. Because the relationship is no longer about you or me, but about ‘us’. And until couples begin to understand that and ADJUST as needed, their marriages will NOT work. Do not give all the wrong things to your partner and expect love in return. It does not work that way. Give them what you want to receive. If you want peace give them peace. If you want respect give them respect, if you want attention give them attention. Do not take your partner for granted, do not push them away because of who you think you are.

Love is fair and NEVER selfish. If you have to think about what you want always and not think about what the other person is receiving then my friend, that is selfishness. Love does not forget Itself and would never forget others.

Your assignment for the week is to take a closer look at your relationship, who is giving more and receiving less? Are you giving your spouse what you want to be given in return? Are you a dream come true for your partner or a nightmare?

May your week be blessed. 🙂

Thank you so much for reading. We love and appreciate you all on our blog. Please feel free to leave your comments. If you have any question send your question to beautifulmarriageforever@gmail.com. Also we are still receiving and uploading love stories, tell us how met your spouse. 🙂

A cybercafe connected my husband and I- #FridayLOVE

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Hello friends. We are back again. It is another Friday and we are featuring another couple’s love story. And this is to show the divine Hand in the way we meet our loved ones. Lovers meet in weird places at weird times. It is not a planned or thought out meeting. It is a meeting that happens on its own when the time is right. So please remember to send your story to: beautifulmarriageforever@gmail.com

”Segun and I met at a cyber cafe in August 2004 (oh yes…) I went with a friend by name Tosin to a cyber cafe in Ilorin at owoniboys area because Tosin was to see her friend- Tolu at the cafe. On getting there, we met Tolu who was in the company of Segun and then we all just got talking and we exchanged email addresses and phone numbers at the end.

I got to know that Segun did not live in Ilorin and was just visiting his mum for a few days. I liked him immediately I saw him at the cafe and I even went as far as calling his number with a hidden number. After a few days, he left Ilorin and we did not connect again for another 3 years.

One early morning in June 2007 at about 5am, I got a call from Segun and he was like “its been a while..blablabla. I am coming to Redempton camp. Can I see you?” Unknown to him I was schooling at Redeemer’s University then. So we met and the first thing I did was check his fingers for a ring (lol) and he said you are checking my fingers? ”I am bringing yam to your father to ask for your hand in marriage”. And that was the beginning of us.

We lived in 2 different cities, I in Ibadan and he lived in Port Harcourt but distance did not stop us. He proposed in Jan 2011 and we got married September 2012. I would say I married my friend because I am always myself around him. He puts God first when making decisions, then me. We are blessed with a son. Thank you for reading”- Titilayo Olorunfemi.

(Awww I could not stop laughing at her checking out his fingers to see if he was married already. LOL. That was funny. I am glad you both ended up together. Thanks for sharing your story. May The Lord continue to bless and keep your home in peace and love always in Jesus Mighty Name, Amen. God bless you).

Thank you all for taking the time to visit our blog. God bless you. Do feel free to leave your comments. And are you willing to share your love story with us? Send your story to beautifulmarriageforever@gmail.com.

 

 

LOVE ABOVE TROUBLES

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Love Above Struggles.

Vincent was taking a walk, enjoying the cool evening breeze. The sun was almost setting and he was truly grateful for how far he had come in his life. He looked across from where he was and saw a young beautiful lady struggling with her bags. She seemed like she had just gotten off work, branched the store to get some items for the house and upon getting home, she had to struggle through her bags to get the front door keys. Vincent’s first thought, was to go and help her with those bags and relieve her of her stressful situation, which he did. He walked to her and offered to help her hold her bags as she did not think it wise to put them on the floor. Her smiles and gratitude stole his heart immediately.

As time went on they started to date, nothing mattered to them but the love they felt for each other. They felt like they could not live without each other. Every minute spent away from the other seemed like eternity. They made up their minds to get married so that they can be with each other as often as they could and love each other without limitations.

Then they came face to face with childlessness. That was their own marital cross to bear. Helen could not bear the thought of not being able to mother a child. They kept on visiting the hospitals for hope and the hospital kept telling them there was nothing wrong with both of them. All they had to do was wait for God’s time. Helen started to feel depressed, especially when she saw her school mates with their own children. Her depression felt worse day after day. The more she was invited for a baby shower the more into herself and detached from reality she was. Her relationship with Vincent took a different turn. They spoke less, they touched each other less, they spent lesser time with each other. Everyone buried his or her head in their own work and spent more time with other family members and friends.

After awhile, Vincent could not take it any longer. He wanted happiness, he wanted to feel love, he wanted someone to see him and not the problems. His attempts to help them see a therapist so as to save their marriage proved abortive. And so he filed for divorce. Their love no longer mattered, what Helen did not have did. What Vincent could not have mattered. They both lost hope in the love they once shared.

When both Vincent and Helen met, there was no problem, even if they did not have enough money nor had children, they loved each other freely and completely IRRESPECTIVE OF WHAT THEY DID NOT HAVE. So why allow what you don’t have steal away what you have been blessed with? Why allow the problems created by the world ruin your relationship? Why allow lack ruin your marriage? Why can’t we all LOVE through all our shortcomings and inadequacies? Marriage makes sense when we can LOVE ABOVE what we do not have, love above what we cannot afford, love above what others think, love above how the world wants you to love, love above your finances, love above your sexuality. Because you are lifted far above all the worldly status, you are more important than gains and achievement. You are far above what and who the world says you should be.

It is easy to say my marriage is beautiful if you have it all in place, but what if you do not have it all in place, will you still have a beautiful marriage?

The goal for the week is that you LOVE ABOVE ALL YOUR STRUGGLES. Remain blessed. ♥♥

Thank you so much for visiting and reading our posts. I pray it blesses you and your marriage. Have a blessed week. Please feel free to leave your comments and questions. If you have a story to share please send your story to beautifulmarriageforever@gmail.com

How I met my husband- #FridayLOVE

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This is our #FridayLove blog-post where we share how we met our spouses to encourage the singles out there who are still looking unto God for a great partner. The Lord works in mysterious ways and locating your spouse is not difficult for him to do. So please if you are married and would like to be featured, send your story and a picture (s) of you and your spouse to beautifulmarriageforever@gmail.com

 

I moved to Newyork in 2006 where I lived with my uncle and his family for almost a year. During the time I lived with them, few blocks a way from where we lived, I met a friend (Yemi) and we kicked it off immediately especially for the fact that I had longed to meet a Nigerian for awhile. So it was easy to connect with her. Everyday I got out of work, I would stop by to check on her, chat with her for awhile, danced, ate together before going home. She was really close to me. Then one day I did the same thing, stopped by her house as usual, but this time around she was on the phone. Immediately I got in, I yelled out her name and asked her how her day had been, she replied me but was still talking to the person over the phone and suddenly I heard her tell him or her (I did not know who it was at that time) that ”I was her friend and I just moved into the States not long”. I was wondering why she was telling a total stranger about me. But did not pay much attention to her.

Turning to the side, she said to me while she held her cell phone farther away from her mouth, ”he is asking about you because he heard your voice over the phone and said oh  she has a beautiful voice”…lol. I laughed and she then gave me the phone to speak to him, I was like, ‘hell no’, I don’t know him, but she encouraged me to just say hi because he wanted to say hi. I took the cell phone from her and said ‘hi’ politely, he replied ‘hello ooo’. Lol. We exchanged greetings for a few minute and I gave Yemi back the phone. He started begging her to please give him my number that I had a beautiful voice and would like to keep talking to me. I told Yemi a big, NO.

A few weeks later, Yemi begged me to please allow her give that guy my number as he was disturbing her everyday for my number. I later got to know that he was her boyfriend’s friend, and he lived in Maryland at that time. Just for peace sake and I mean for Yemi’s peace of mind, I asked her to give him the number. And before that day ended, he called me. His voice sounded so familiar though like I had met him before, but the truth is our path had NEVER crossed before that time. So I guess it was a soul recognition. We talked over the phone everyday for almost 3 months and we decided to meet face to face. We met December 2006 and I won’t lie I was scared that I was going to meet an ugly guy, he was scared too that he was going to meet a fat and not so pretty girl…LOL. Trust me, we both liked what we saw. After meeting back and forth for awhile,  he came out straight to me that he wanted to marry me and he was not ready to play around. And that was it, no jet, no musician or flowers, no kneeling down on one knees and all those fancy style of proposing..lol. I did not even take it serious, but then he took laws into his own hands when he saw that  I was not serious and  went straight to my parents and my siblings and introduced himself during one of his visits to Nigeria and bought them over.

We have known each other for 10 years now (would be 10 years in December) and been married for 7. Its been an awesome ride and very difficult too, but God has been faithful and He blessed us with 2 handsome boys.

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So my friends, that is our story in a nut shell. Thanks for taking the time to read through. I hope it blesses and encourages someone. God bless you all.

 

Please feel free to leave us your comments. And share your story with us. God bless you all.

 

The LOVERS- Who are they?

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Love is a spirit housed within us and manifested into our reality through our feelings and actions. Everything we see and cannot see like anger, joy, happiness, wealth, power, money, blessings are all manifested spirits in our reality. Love is pure energy- a usable power that comes directly from God Himself. Love is Power and it carries the ability to heal, the ability to restore, the ability to comfort and encourage, the ability to prosper you and make you very successful, the ability to increase and more.

Er’s- Is the suffix of the word ‘Lovers’ which denotes a person, animal or thing that performs a specified action or activity (work). It denotes a person that has a specified attribute (characteristics) or denotes a person belonging to a specified place (location).

Lovers- Are simply the transmitters of love. They are conduits through which the energy of love is transferred into humanity, they are the carriers of LIGHT and that light is LOVE. Spreading love is their major work and their attribute. Their location is within the four walls of their marital union where they can perform their godly duties without hindrances.

Within an ordinary relationship there are limitations, you are not allowed to have premarital sex in certain societies and cultures and the rate at which we can express our deep feelings for our loved one is usually limited that is why the marriage was built for lovers. There are no hindrances, no limitations, no obstacles whether cultural, spiritual, physical, psychological and more in a marriage. The marriage of ‘true lovers’ is usually blessed because the expression of your love through several actions, like; sex, prayers, in thoughts, in words, in acts and more, brings out a vibrational frequency from you that extends to the world . When something vibrates it moves back and forth or from side to side with very quick and short movements. One of the obvious characteristics of anything that vibrates is MOVEMENT, it is NEVER still. And when it starts with you, it surely will not end with you but will keep moving unto the ends of the earth affecting people’s lives positively or negatively whether we know it or not.

So it is important that the LOVERS know who they are and what their work on earth is and work towards making their own relationship work so as to send out the right energy of love into the world. Your marriage is an assignment to you and a gift to humanity. Assignment in the sense that you need to know the purpose of it especially in your life, work through your own personal shortcomings, and a gift in the sense that it has been blessed with the ability to heal others and heal the world. God can use the marriage as a cleanser and a purifier, it carries within it a cleansing power where by not only you is washed in it but others can be cleansed too.

Your assignment this week is to start to see you and your spouse as LOVERS destined to be here at this moment and blessed to be able to bless the world with the love you have for each other, through the both of you God sends more love into humanity. Ask yourself if you treat your partner with the highest level of respect and reverence. Honor one another, submit to each other and live loving each other irrespective of the problems you face. ♥♥♥

 

Thank you so much for reading our post. We love and appreciate you. Please feel free to leave your comments and remember we will be featuring love stories of how couples met on Fridays, so please if you would like to share your story of how you and your spouse met, send an email with your story and your picture to: beautifulmarriageforever@gmail.com.

Have a blessed week.

What is marriage?Do you think you know?

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I can start by going to the book of Genesis in the Bible of how God created Adam and removed Eve from his ribs and more, but the truth is, majority of us know this truth already and no need repeating it.

Marriage was created so that between a man and a woman, the Essence of God which is LOVE can be shared. It is a world without limitations, where the mountains can become plain and the valleys filled up with the expressions of the love couples have each other. It is a place of calm, of abundance, of peace, of joy- when you lie in the arms of the one you call your heart. It is a place where the music sung can never end and we play in the drama that continues forever. A place where we bring forth golden bright futures and in these kids, we continue living even when our consciousness in this dimension is gone.

Marriage is LIGHT and it sheds light on who we are and all that needs to be worked on within us. It heals and has a transforming power- it can literally transform your life if it is used the right way. Its light has the power to dis-spell darkness. You need not fight the devil, love does all the fights, that is why he attacks marriages by constantly bringing in disagreements. The devil thrives in divisibility, your union is a problem for him and he will do anything to tear any couple apart. The more we have couples who are in love and who are ready to fight tooth and nail to make their marriage work, the easier it will be for his kingdom to be destroyed but you see, he does not want that to happen.

Your marriage is not just the union you both share, it is really looking at your spouse and seeing him or her as ”the marriage”. without them in your life, there is NO marriage. Marriage is no longer about you but ‘him’ or ‘her’ in your life.

The marriage between God The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit cannot be exhausted or completely understood, but one thing that stands out is how They are together and yet independent of Each Other. And that is one of the manifestations we see in our marriages- both together and yet independent of each other. And in this independence, I do not stand as me, but I stand as ‘you in me’ and ‘me in you’.

You can choose to say ‘to hell with it i am better off alone’. Yes, you are if you are with the wrong person. But you are better off being with the right person. There is always a special person that has been given the ability to truly love you as you desire to be loved. Just because someone almost messed up your life because of their own lives that has first been messed up, does not mean that you cannot find the true person who was meant for you from the beginning. You have your own Mr. Right and Mrs Right. Believe that!

 

Thank you for taking the time to read through. I pray it blesses you. Do you need someone to talk to? send a mail to beautifulmarriageforever@gmail.com