A sister reached out to me last week, complaining about how her husband is very serious with his work and would not take chances with his job. She thinks he works too hard and would choose his work over his family anytime there was a conflict in his schedule. I thought about the whole thing for a long time, pondered on the issue and the possible solution. And came up with the following;
- INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES: These are two different people with two different backgrounds, two different zodiac signs, two different desires, two different needs and more, who have come together to become ONE. Being ONE is a task that is literally beyond us, only God makes us ONE in all things. One person is into family, the other person into his/her work. And I realized that our complaints especially of our partners, are because THEY ARE NOT LIKE US. We want them to be like us, think like us, act like us, love the things we love, follow our own codes of conduct. But what if they think exactly the same way about you- that you are not like them? No two persons are alike, it makes sense to understand that we have different roles to play in life and in our marriages, so we should respect the other person’s role and place, and not want to force them to do the things you like. Instead of complaining about the problem, state YOUR NEEDS.
- FULFILLMENT: For her, being with her family fulfills her and for him having a headway in his career fulfills him. It is what it is, we cannot and should not take that away from people. I say all the time that the LORD has not given us the manual to our spouses, but maybe He has- in our zodiac signs. How many times have we taken the time to read about the signs of our loved ones. I read about mine; TAURUS last week and I was blown away about how accurate the chart was. I read that of my husband- PISCES and it made me understand why he acts the way he acts. And so that has given me an idea of what his weaknesses and strengths are. I read about Virgo, Aries and Capricorn and realized that the Capricorns are the workaholics. It is in their DNA, it is their nature. When it is time for family they are with family and when it is time for work, they are at work and nothing can change that because they find fulfillment in their work. Yes they love their loved ones but they also love their work. You, as a spouse should get to KNOW your spouse and UNDERSTAND them first before complaining about what they are doing and what they are not doing.
- BALANCE WILL ALWAYS REMAIN KEY: In whatever and wherever we find fulfillment, it is important that we do not let other things suffer- our families should not suffer, our health should not suffer, our friends should not suffer, our careers should not suffer. Being able to balance our daily routines as much as possible gives us peace of mind. Because yes, you might love your work and your wife or husband might understand that, but you do not want to make your wife or husband feel unfulfilled by marrying you, because they can. Many divorces have happened because the partners did not feel that sense of fulfillment in the partner they walked down the aisle with. So no matter where you are and in all that you do, within all that you love, remember that BALANCE is key.
Live a life that gives you deep fulfillment but NEVER leave a chance to regret. Make choices that would leave you GRATEFUL not REGRETFUL. Be true, be real and be sincere always. May your week be blessed.
Assignment: Take the time this week to read all about your partner’s zodiac sign.
Thank you for reading. God bless you.
I can start by going to the book of Genesis in the Bible of how God created Adam and removed Eve from his ribs and more, but the truth is, majority of us know this truth already and no need repeating it.
Marriage was created so that between a man and a woman, the Essence of God which is LOVE can be shared. It is a world without limitations, where the mountains can become plain and the valleys filled up with the expressions of the love couples have each other. It is a place of calm, of abundance, of peace, of joy- when you lie in the arms of the one you call your heart. It is a place where the music sung can never end and we play in the drama that continues forever. A place where we bring forth golden bright futures and in these kids, we continue living even when our consciousness in this dimension is gone.
Marriage is LIGHT and it sheds light on who we are and all that needs to be worked on within us. It heals and has a transforming power- it can literally transform your life if it is used the right way. Its light has the power to dis-spell darkness. You need not fight the devil, love does all the fights, that is why he attacks marriages by constantly bringing in disagreements. The devil thrives in divisibility, your union is a problem for him and he will do anything to tear any couple apart. The more we have couples who are in love and who are ready to fight tooth and nail to make their marriage work, the easier it will be for his kingdom to be destroyed but you see, he does not want that to happen.
Your marriage is not just the union you both share, it is really looking at your spouse and seeing him or her as ”the marriage”. without them in your life, there is NO marriage. Marriage is no longer about you but ‘him’ or ‘her’ in your life.
The marriage between God The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit cannot be exhausted or completely understood, but one thing that stands out is how They are together and yet independent of Each Other. And that is one of the manifestations we see in our marriages- both together and yet independent of each other. And in this independence, I do not stand as me, but I stand as ‘you in me’ and ‘me in you’.
You can choose to say ‘to hell with it i am better off alone’. Yes, you are if you are with the wrong person. But you are better off being with the right person. There is always a special person that has been given the ability to truly love you as you desire to be loved. Just because someone almost messed up your life because of their own lives that has first been messed up, does not mean that you cannot find the true person who was meant for you from the beginning. You have your own Mr. Right and Mrs Right. Believe that!
Thank you for taking the time to read through. I pray it blesses you. Do you need someone to talk to? send a mail to email@example.com