Category Archives: Uncategorized

WORK ON YOUR OWN NEGATIVE TRAITS- HAPPY NEW YEAR.

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Happy new year beautiful couples. Its been a long ride and only the Lord did it. He kept us all. Things might not have gone as we had hoped for in the past year, but everything, good or bad, work together for our own good whether we are aware of it or not. 2016 is now gone, 2017 has taken over, the new has taken over with new and different vibrations altogether. To have the blessings in 2017, be in the vibrational frequency of 2017 (Pray about this). Many are still in the vibrational frequency of 2011 and 2012 even 1980 while many are vibrating redundancy and stagnancy. The miracles you seek have a vibration to them literally, therefore you being in sync with your blessings in 2017, is you, being in sync energetically with your miracles and then, they manifest in your reality- just like that.

One of the ways you can conveniently vibrate positively is to focus more on your positive qualities. What you focus on magnifies and the energy of such intensifies. Now, focusing on your positive qualities does not mean you have to ignore your negative qualities, because we all have them. Everyone on earth have the positive and negative sides just as we have the positive and negative sides of a battery. Now, your job is to KNOW what your negative qualities are and seek to reduce the effect they have on your marriage, your career and  your life as a whole.

A brother told me that his problem is alcohol- drinking and getting drunk. The problem he has is his inability to STOP drinking once he lays his hands on alcohol. And when he gets home from being drunk he turns aggressively on the people he loves the most. Now, that is a brother who knows his problem, who is remorseful because he is aware of the evil that problem is causing in his marriage, and in the life of his kids, and is seeking for help. The worse, is to have a man who has alcohol problem like our brother but does not see it as a problem even if it is tearing his family apart. It is important that you KNOW yourself and your shortcomings and how this shortcoming of yours is affecting your marriage.

Do not just stop at knowing alone, SEEK HELP on how to get rid of those negative behaviors. Knowledge is your best friend here and seek that knowledge concerning the situation you have on your hands. This year, please do not cast stones at your spouse, look inward, look at yourself, remove the speck in your own eyes, straighten your own path, and see the manifestation of your change in your marriage. I am a witness of ”your change automatically has the power to change your spouse and the vibration of your marriage”. So, concentrate on changing yourself first before changing the situation or your spouse.

I wish everyone a beautiful marriage this beautiful year. God bless you all.

Download my book, THE ABCs OF A BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE.- The kindle version is now available on amazon for $0.99 only for a short period of time (take advantage of it). The hard-copy will be available soon. Click on the following link.

https://www.amazon.com/ABCs-Beautiful-Marriage-Marital-Struggles-ebook/dp/B01N5JMH2X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483405840&sr=8-1&keywords=the+abcs+of+a+beautiful+marriage

WORK versus FAMILY- what fulfills you?

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A sister reached out to me last week, complaining about how her husband is very serious with his work and would not take chances with his job. She thinks he works too hard and would choose his work over his family anytime there was a conflict in his schedule. I thought about the whole thing for a long time, pondered on the issue and the possible solution. And came up with the following;

  • INDIVIDUAL DIFFERENCES: These are two different people with two different backgrounds, two different zodiac signs, two different desires, two different needs and more, who have come together to become ONE. Being ONE is a task that is literally beyond us, only God makes us ONE in all things. One person is into family, the other person into his/her work. And I realized that our complaints especially of our partners, are because THEY ARE NOT LIKE US. We want them to be like us, think like us, act like us, love the things we love, follow our own codes of conduct. But what if they think exactly the same way about you- that you are not like them? No two persons are alike, it makes sense to understand that we have different roles to play in life and in our marriages, so we should respect the other person’s role and place, and not want to force them to do the things you like. Instead of complaining about the problem, state YOUR NEEDS.
  • FULFILLMENT: For her, being with her family fulfills her and for him having a headway in his career fulfills him. It is what it is, we cannot and should not take that away from people. I say all the time that the LORD has not given us the manual to our spouses, but maybe He has- in our zodiac signs. How many times have we taken the time to read about the signs of our loved ones. I read about mine; TAURUS last week and I was blown away about how accurate the chart was. I read that of my husband- PISCES and it made me understand why he acts the way he acts. And so that has given me an idea of what his weaknesses and strengths are. I read about Virgo, Aries and Capricorn and realized that the Capricorns are the workaholics. It is in their DNA, it is their nature. When it is time for family they are with family and when it is time for work, they are at work and nothing can change that because they find fulfillment in their work. Yes they love their loved ones but they also love their work. You, as a spouse should get to KNOW your spouse and UNDERSTAND them first before complaining about what they are doing and what they are not doing.
  • BALANCE WILL ALWAYS REMAIN KEY: In whatever and wherever we find fulfillment, it is important that we do not let other things suffer- our families should not suffer, our health should not suffer, our friends should not suffer, our careers should not suffer. Being able to balance our daily routines as much as possible gives us peace of mind. Because yes, you might love your work and your wife or husband might understand that, but you do not want to make your wife or husband feel unfulfilled by marrying you, because they can. Many divorces have happened because the partners did not feel that sense of fulfillment in  the partner they walked down the aisle with. So no matter where you are and in all that you do, within all that you love, remember that BALANCE is key.

Live a life that gives you deep fulfillment but NEVER leave a chance to regret. Make choices that would leave you GRATEFUL not REGRETFUL. Be true, be real and be sincere always. May your week be blessed.

Assignment: Take the time this week to read all about your partner’s zodiac sign.

 

Thank you for reading. God bless you.

Circle Your Marriage In Prayers

I have been blessed to read ‘The Circle Maker’ by Mark Batterson. This book teaches us how to circle our needs, desires, dreams and aspirations in prayers and also the power of manifestation that accompanies our ceaseless prayers.

The things I have learned in this book so far is, having confidence in the Lord- Whose thought is far away from our thoughts as the Heaven is far away from the earth, with the distance from Heaven to earth calculated as 15.5 billion light-years, which means that according to the book, ”your best thought on your best day falls 15.5 billion light-years short of how great and how good God really is. Even the most brilliant among us underestimate God by 15.5 billion light-years. God is able to do 15.5 billion light-years beyond what you can ask or imagine”. Isn’t that just powerfully remarkable?

So it behooves you and I to trust that Powerful God. Another thing this book has thought me is to have confidence in myself. Before I go to pray, I need to know that my prayers will be answered. We doubt not because we do not trust God but we doubt ourselves. And when you doubt yourself you unconsciously doubt the power that is at work in you. If the Power of The Most High God is at work in you, then my friends, you need to trust yourself and be confident in your heart desires. Because the will of the Most High God is usually manifested through your will, especially when the intention is right. The intention is right when you are not thinking about all you will get from what you desire but all that will benefit others and the world positively.

There is a need out there to learn to circle our marriages in prayers ceaselessly. Yes it helps when your partner is open to prayers and praying as a couple, but when they are not, is not the time for you to throw in the towel. Your prayer for your marriage and your home helps tremendously, especially when it is prayed from a pure heart and with cheerfulness. When it is, tremendous power that can cause transformational changes is provided to that marriage. You receive your heart desires because the Lord has prepared you without your knowledge and placed you in the vibrational frequency to receive. And so when you start to pray, work has begun in you and in your marriage. NEVER give up because you think that you are not getting the result you desire yet, but understand that the Holy Spirit brooded upon the face of the deep for a longtime before the earth was finally formed. The Holy Spirit could be brooding on you and your entire household PREPARING you for your miracle because of your prayers. Understand that your marriage will be healed, your finances will be healed, your relationship will blossom, your children will be successful and they will hold their peace, you will grow, you will expand, you will prosper by the Power Of the Holy Ghost because you CHOSE TO PRAY.

Please buy that book- The Circle Maker’, if you have not read it. You will find it on amazon.com. This upcoming new year, because of your spiritual understanding and change, will be a different year for you and your household positively. Wishing you all the best. Have a blessed week Friends.

Thank you for reading. Remember to share with friends and family. God bless you all. 

DO UNTO OTHERS….

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Hello Everyone our post is from a sister. She shared her testimony about the moment she cried because her husband did just one thing she had always wanted. This is a beautiful testimony. God bless you as you read. 

”Good morning, and God bless you, Toyin! The picture I sent you goes along with this post for Beautiful Marriage. Sorry it is SO LONG (lol) but it is what was on my heart: What you see in this picture, friends, is a curio filled with unicorns. I have a precious unicorn collection I started in 1984 when my namesake (Grandma Liz) gave me my first unicorn. Over the years, I have acquired many–from sisters, students, even my own travels.

I waited so long to have a proper display space for them, and 3 years ago for my 40th birthday, my mother bought me this one. Well, the cord to the second section was damaged, so I could no longer sit in my glider and enjoy looking at my collection. Lo and behold, after a taxing week at work (I’m a school teacher) and at home with our own children, I came home to find this! Both sections lit! My husband went out WITHOUT ME ASKING HIM TO DO IT and bought a new plug. Y’all, I cried. I stood in the living room and cried. I was so exhausted from the hard week, and it just touched me so deeply. The reason I wanted to share this testimony is because of this: EVERYWHERE you look, men and women alike are eager and quick to wag a finger and type up a long list of all the things a woman must do to keep her marriage working. I have been hard pressed to find equal advice and finger wagging directed towards the men. Not even men advise other men about what they should do in the marriage to the same extent that you see people inundating the woman with advice. After all, it takes two, not just the woman “doing the most”; yet, there is probably only a hill of instruction for the husband but mountains of “do this” directed towards the wife.

Well, I wanted to point out this helpful tip for the husbands: Show your wife (who is working her way diligently through the long list!) that her desires MATTER! When everything she asks you to do has to wait, or she has to ask 10 times, or she has to just do it herself, it sends the message, “Your needs aren’t a priority to me. What you want can wait. You can wait.” It makes you feel de-valued. Especially when the husband wants his matters tended to ASAP. My husband showed me that he KNEW what mattered to me. He knew that this small thing—without me even ASKING (that is a HUGE DEAL lol! Because as moms, we are ALWAYS asking/telling the same people to do the same things each day!) –He knew it would bring me joy. And that mattered SO much to me! So, please, take the time to listen and to do. Be attentive. Show her that if it matters to her, it does matter to you. Don’t push her off and make her feel insignificant or trifling; you would become a raging bull if she took that attitude towards you or your wishes. Can we get some “do unto others” in the marriage, too, saints of God? Amen?”- Liz Crockett 

Powerful isn’t it? If men only knew that the little things they do make all the difference. God bless you and your union sister Liz. I really appreciate that testimony. 

I have not forgotten anyone- Jesus Christ

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I have a habit of praying and asking the Lord questions after the prayer sessions. So I sit still in meditation and ask the Lord whatever question I have in mind. Sometimes I get my answers immediately through words- a single word, or through images or in my dreams. But this time around my question to Him was- what messages do you have for your children? And after a long silence I heard subtly;

‘I have not forgotten anyone”. That was all the message I got. But that message ran so deep for me and I have decided to share it with everyone. The Lord has not forgotten you, it does not matter where you think you are at the moment- all the prayers that seem un-answered, all the disappointments, the rejection, the frustration, the lack, the inability to pay for your child’s needs or pay your bills on time, your marriage that is falling apart, your health and more, the Lord is saying to you that HE HAS NOT FORGOTTEN YOU. At the right time, He will remember you and He will come through for you.

So, you that wait on the Lord, keep waiting. You who believe in His strength and Love, keep believing. You, who believe in His blood and the salvation He has given us through His cross, no matter what is falling apart around you, please keep trusting. You, who Know that the Lord is mighty to save, mighty enough to heal your marriage, mighty enough to heal your health, mighty enough to heal those circumstances, mighty enough to give you your own spouse, mighty enough to provide a job for you,  please keep living from that understanding. 

Do not give up, do not give in to those problems– one day they walked into your life, one day, they would be eliminated also. Look forward to that day. Do not let the situation rob you of your crown- your blessings, your breakthrough, your healing, your gifts, your inheritance (you name it). The Lord is more than faithful to bring His words to past in your life and He will. So be strong, be diligent, be persistent, consistently on a moment by moment basis trust in the Lord. And I know for a fact that in the end, you will not be disappointed.

Thank you so much for reading. May your week be blessed. I am praying for us all.

The Power behind prayers- the praying couple

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I laid on my bed thinking about prayers- why it seems like it takes forever for some prayers to be answered. The Bible says, if we ask for anything in the name of Christ, we will receive it. Many people talk about how everything is according to divine timing which is true, but what if the Lord is ready to bless us and answer our prayers now? He made me understand a while ago, that He has the gifts, He has the answered prayers, He is willing to come through immediately in some cases, but we are not ready to receive the blessings yet. Yes we ask, but our intentions are not pure and for those with pure intentions, they do not have the ability to handle the blessings yet. And because of that He allows many people go through diverse training (we call problems)emotionally, physically, mentally, financially, maritally and spiritually so that they are prepared to receive and work accordingly with the blessings. But many, am sorry to say, will  NEVER be ready because of their unconsciousness.

So as I laid on my bed in deep thoughts, I asked the Lord if it was His will for the answers to some prayers to be delayed. The understanding I got was that, many pray and from the same mouth insults, curses, backbiting, anger proceeds. The God we pray to is a HOLY GOD and that is why the Bible says that ‘the prayers of a righteous man will make tremendous powers available’ not just for others but also for themselves. Prayer is holy and it should not be in the same mouth with unholiness- anger, gossip, malice, curses, backbiting. If you want your prayers to be immediately answered, please use your mouth righteously and ACT righteously so that when you go to pray the Lord will immediately answer.

The power behind prayers apart from the Holy Ghost, is in how we act, react, speak and our thoughts towards other people, that is, the effectiveness of our prayers lie in our consciousness. And so the ball is really in our court. When we do our part, the Lord will do His part. Pray together always in purity of hearts and you will see the manifestation of your prayers in your reality as soon as the Lord answers.

Thank you for reading. May your week be blessed.

Different yet, ONE.

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This past weekend, the ladies gathered together to celebrate two of our friends, since they shared the same birth day. We had fun eating, drinking, chatting and laughing together @maggiano in King of Prussia, PA (they’ve got delicious food for those who might be interested :)). The beautiful thing was that, we were all married and had to leave the kids and their daddies at home. That break was really needed. LOL. My husband asked me why I did not call home during my outing to check on them(Himself and the kids). I answered, ‘those couple of hours spent away from home, was my heaven’…LOL.

Though we were happy to be away from home, we talked 70% of the time about our husbands and children and hardly talked about ourselves.( Life of a mother and wife). One of the things that stood out the most to me during our conversation out of the many, was the DIFFERENCES IN PERSONALITIES each couple had. It was funny to see that we were all not just different from each other personality wise, but also different from our spouses.

You are not the only one probably struggling with your spouse because of your differences, many married couples all over the world are. It makes sense to see things differently, to think differently, to act and react differently because of the differences in background, beliefs, experiences, education and personal preferences. That is one of the things that makes being ONE, as a couple, a mystery.

Enjoy the beautiful mess in your marriage. There is no perfect marriage anywhere, the Lord is our Perfection. And what you think isn’t perfect enough is perfect before the Lord. Do not blame your wife or your husband or hate them for the fact that they are different from you and do things differently, do not try to control them or get angry when things are not done the way you would want them to be done. Do  not assume that your own way of doing things is the only right way. Be opened and accepting of your partner’s differences and shortcomings. Love them through it all-the good and the bad moments, the neat and the chaos, the rigidity and flexibility, the stubbornness and submissiveness, the agreement and disagreement,  and more.

Above all, NEVER compare your marriage with another because trust me, they are not better- the grass over there is as green as your own grass, if you doubt it, stand on their lawn to view yours.

Thank you all for reading. May our marriages be blessed always. Have a beautiful week.

 

 

THE ABC’s OF A BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE

married-couple-mainHello everyone, It’s been awhile since I posted on the blog, but it was because I had been working on creating an online course for the married and those in a relationship, titled THE ABC’s OF A BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE. This was something that was laid in my heart to do and it is done and completed, now live on udemy.com. In this course you will learn;

-how to live and love your partner above your struggles, what love is,  who the lovers are, the purpose of marriage and why it was created, what problems are and why we encounter problems in our lives, what to do in case your partner suddenly walks out of the marriage, how to deal with a spouse with addiction, the importance of spending quality time with your loved ones and more.. ..

This is an eye opening course for the married, a great source of knowledge for those who are still single and engaged. Because a beautiful marriage starts with you. It is something you consciously create. This course will guide you on how you can consciously create a great relationship irrespective of the problems you encounter in your life. Many couples have gone to see counselors and paid a lot of money to them and yet it did not yield the positive result they desired. The regular price of this course is $40 but currently on sale for $20.00 that is a whooping 50% discount. You can take advantage of this discount by clicking on this link. Only this link gets you the 50% discount.

https://www.udemy.com/the-abcs-of-a-beautiful-marriage/?couponCode=BEAUTIFUL_MARRIAGE01

By enrolling in this course you have started to invest into your marriage and for those who are single, your future. Not only will you learn life transforming truths in this course you also have a lifetime access to it -meaning, it belongs to you and you can keep listening to it over and over again as you will forever, isn’t that a great investment?

I wish everyone a great and blessed week.

 

Thank you for reading and sharing our post. Remember to reach out to me at beautifulmarriageforver@gmail.com. 

Prepare for the marriage NOT the wedding celebrations.

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When I was growing up I placed more importance on things that were not important and abandoned the most important things. I chose my friends anyhow because I thought I was okay I could mingle with anyone and not be influenced by them. I was a hard worker but did not care, would throw in the towel when things were not going the way I had hoped it would and more, I ran virtually from everyone and everything. I lived my life thoughtlessly. I lived my life un-seriously. I chose worldliness instead of my spirituality. And I carried that mentality into my marriage.

Before I got married, I did not bother to go for marriage seminars, did not bother to read different books on marriage, did not listen to any audio tape. I did not pay attention to the teachings on marriage in church and during the counseling sessions (I did it to just fulfill righteousness). I did not spend anytime getting to know WHAT TO DO in a marriage.

Then it was time to get married. Funny enough, I met someone (my husband) who did not get lessons too (any wonder, since we attract who we are). We were all about making the wedding the best. We got the best wedding hall at that time, the caterer and drinks were all great, my dress, my ring, we spent some money on those things. We thought of calling WASIU (a great Nigerian yoruba musician) but did not have his fee, he was too pricey, so we settled for ADEWALE AYUBA, thank the Lord we did not use him too eventually.We wanted to show off (for who? if  you must ask me, I have no idea).  I remembered my dad telling me,” Toyin, you don’t need all these things, you don’t need to spend this much”. But all he said fell on deaf ears. I kept saying ”daddy we only get married once in life, let’s do it well”. 

The wedding was beautiful, everything was great except for the make-up artist who did no make-up at all (she did nonsense and called herself a make-up artist. I have since forgiven her, I hold no grudge, but come-on now, it was a wedding! LOL).

The after- wedding life began for REAL- no more people to cheer us on, no families, no friends, everybody ate the rice and went back to their own homes and problems. And it dawned on us that we were facing real life situations here, alone. This is no longer a relationship that I could run out of if things were not going the way I had hoped. It was difficult at first for my hubby and I and trust me, we both regretted all the money we wasted on our wedding day. We say it till this day, if we had another chance, it would be just us and our immediate family members. We have learnt to stress more on making the marriage a beautiful one than making the wedding a beautiful one, which should have been our initial goal. All the money spent should have gone into our personal growth.

For those who are yet to get married, spend time acquiring knowledge on how to be a great wife and husband, how to handle difficult situations especially in anger, how to react and act towards everyone and yourself. Learn how to handle your finances together as a couple.  Learn how to see yourself and love yourself so that you function as your divine self. Learn how to treat your in-laws with love and respect even with all their shortcomings. Learn what LOVE really is and more.

I must tell you my friends, the Lord intervened even before I knew what I was getting myself into. My husband has a heart of gold and even if I walked into my marriage without fully knowing what I was getting myself into, the Lord saved me a good man. He cared that much for me to give me a loving and caring man. The Lord taught me how to get rid of my ego-based beliefs (some lies we were made to believe while growing up) that was affecting my marriage then.

 Please do yourself a favor and learn now, walk on the right path and save yourself unnecessary headache later. Invest your time and money now for your future. Go to marriage seminars, listen well in church, buy books, buy audio tapes, don’t wait till you are married to get all these things. GET THEM NOW. God bless you all. Thanks for reading.

 

Thank you all for reading. I appreciate your visiting the blog. Please feel free to leave your comments and follow our blog. Do you have an experience that people could learn from? Please send your story to beautifulmarriageforever@gmail.com

OVERCOMING FINANCIAL STRUGGLES AS A COUPLE.

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Overcoming financial struggles in your marriage.

Paul and Cindy have been married for 8 years. Their marriage is great except for the fact that they have different financial orientations. Paul loves to save while Cindy loves to spend. At first, Paul thought that it was a phase that would pass in their relationship until he realized that this is just who his wife is. It is difficult for him to accept her spending habits and terms it ‘wasteful’ while Cindy sees her husband as being too ‘frugal’ and does not care about her needs. Listening to both of them was overwhelming yet amusing because they were alike in all ways. They are polar opposites yet fit perfectly  in each others lives especially in the area of BALANCE.

Financial issue is one of the major causes of divorce in our society. And the problem associated with it is that of LIMITED INCOME and the OUT-FLOW of money.

-Limited Income issues stem from career or business problems, joblessness and more.

-Outflow of money is caused by too much bills, spending habits and inability to save.

It is very important that couples KNOW themselves and know the situation on ground.What can you do with your financial situation? There are several things you can realistically do when there is a shortage of income and too much money going out.

  1. Be opened about your financial situations. Talk about what is going well and not so well with your career and businesses. Communicating with your partner removes them from being in the dark and coming to the light of who you are and all you are going through. It does not make you less of a man for your woman to know what is going well and not so well with your career.
  2. Live within your means. Always ask yourself who are you trying to show off to? The people you are trying to oppress or impress do not care about you, especially whether you survive or not, succeed or not. Do not stress or stretch yourself beyond your limit in order to impress or show off to others.
  3. Spend Cash, avoid buying things on credit. If you cannot afford it immediately, save for it or forget about it. Trust me, it is a hard lesson I had to learn myself. What you buy with your money is yours, what you buy on credit belong to those who gave you the credit. Do not let any system enslave you. Set yourself free from financial slavery.
  4. Understand the situation on ground. When it is time to save money for a particular project that will benefit the family in the end, is not the time to think of buying a Gucci bag or a Louis Vuitton. Always be aware of the things you need to accomplish together as a family. Also understand the financial situation at home, do not be a stranger in your own home.
  5. Be opened to learning more on how you can expand and grow your business or career. There are financial freedom seminars organized by companies and individuals take advantage of them by attending those seminars and apply what you think can positively change your finances and life.
  6. Live above the situation. Every problem has a beginning and an end. So the time the problem will end will surely come. It is important that you are conscious of the fact that ”this too shall pass”. Don’t end your marriage because of the problems you are going through as a couple. Stand strong together to see the end of that issue or problem.

Your marriage can work. Look to the glory and not the pain. Let your focus be on the victory and the breakthrough. Support each other, encourage each other, stand up, stand for, stand with your partner always. Say to that issue together as ONE ”we shall overcome”. And surely that will be your portion always.

Have a blessed week.

 

Thank you all for taking the time to read our posts. Thank you also for following our blog. If you like what you read please remember to follow our blog and share with friends and family members. Feel free to leave your comments. Many blessings always.